There are numerous things that your mother and I have and will try to instill in you, countless bits of wisdom and stupidity, but, in the end, only experience will truly be your teacher. That being said, there are some truths that I, your father, consider absolute. Many of these truths your mother and I would agree on, though I doubt she would admit to giving some of them any serious thought, and some she might even disagree with, or, at least with me sharing.
I began writing this while you three were still babies. I have added bits and pieces over the years, but have never subtracted. Every word of this, every edit, has been tortured for deliberate meaning. Every thought herein I have come to in the search for my own being. Suffice to say most of the edits and additions have come from me needing to read this advice myself. Countless times…
I fear I may never have the courage to give you this letter. I would like to think I will, but my experience has made it clear that people change quite a bit more than we are usually willing to admit. My intention is to give this to you when you begin your transition into womanhood, though if and whether I’ll define that socially, physically, or spiritually is to be determined. Call it a replacement for “the birds and the bees” conversation that I am certain we will never want to have.
Truth #1:
Fear nothing.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the gateway to misery, pain, and anger.
Fear is a primitive emotion that breeds destruction and inaction. There is no way to avoid the biological response that your mind interprets as fear, the release of adrenaline, endorphins, or cortisol, but these are useful chemicals that make you stronger, more acutely aware and focused, less susceptible to immediate pain. Use these chemicals to fuel you but never drive you.
Truth #2:
Love everyone and everything.
Love is creation.
Love is service.
Love is limitless.
Love is pure joy, pure pleasure.
Love is the path to happiness, fulfillment, and understanding.
Love is an emotion more valuable than any rational thought.
Most importantly: Love Yourself.
Truth #3:
Revel in orgasm.
Seriously. Revel in orgasm. It is a greater pleasure than any other, and, when coupled with romantic love, the most revelatory experience available to us.
Truth #4:
Romantic love is a momentary burst of chemicals, like a prolonged, but fleeting orgasm.
Romantic love has as much in common with fear as it does with True Love or orgasm. Without trust, loyalty, and the faith cemented in established history, romantic love is just a passing fancy. Enjoy it, but don’t let it confuse or destroy you.
It will happen again. And again. It may even happen in not so conventional ways.
When you find somebody you can stand long enough to have repeated cycles of romantic love, without losing sight of genuine friendship in between, you may be fortunate enough to have found True Love.
If or when life blesses you with children, you’ll be certain that True Love doesn’t even require romantic love at all.
Truth #5:
There is nothing but chaos.
Don’t let that stop you from writing yourself a good narrative. The human mind needs a good story.
The story you write, for the most part, is the story you live.
Don’t let others write your story for you.
Write your future now, even if it requires rewriting your past.
Identity is a unique and wildly fluid set of circumstances and perspectives. You rarely control the circumstances, but you can always choose your perspective…Your perspective.
Choose your own adventure…
Truth #6:
There is a Devil and a Hell.
The Devil is an idea. He persists in mankind’s notion that he persists.
Hell is a place inside your own mind. It is the prison that you lock yourself inside by giving into fear.
Truth #7:
There is a God and a Heaven.
God is the ineffable notion of the dream of perfection, and Heaven is the place where you reside whenever you realize that everything is already perfect and always is.
Truth #8:
Allow yourself to be intoxicated. Embrace fun. Imbibe substances. Exercise to ecstasy. Dance and drink until Dionysus consumes you.
Fucking Rock!
But never endanger your life.
Never operate in ignorance.
Never give the system reason to punish you.
Always ask for help if you feel, even briefly, that you need it.
Truth #9:
Respect your body.
It’s the only one I’m certain you’ll have.
Maintain it with a varied and mostly natural diet.
Exercise regularly.
Drink water.
Learn to breath. Too many people think it’s automatic.
See a doctor when you need to, but never blindly trust anyone other than yourself to truly care for your body.
If you listen to your body, it will tell you what it needs.
Truth #10:
Read.
Read anything.
Read everything. In every language if you can.
Language is what makes us human, and Music is the most powerful language of all.
Truth #11:
Travel.
See as much of this magical world as you can. Understand as many different ways of life as possible.
Eat everything.
Judge no one.
Empathy is humanity.
Truth #12:
Debt is a dangerous tool, and the future is never certain.
Owe nothing to anyone tomorrow that you couldn’t repay today.
Honor your word. Repay your debts.
Never lend anything to others that you cannot stand to lose. This is doubly so of your time and attention.
Forgive regularly, especially yourself. Mistakes and transgressions are lessons, not debts.
Truth #13:
Never compromise.
Never compromise your integrity, your honor, your faith, your love.
To compromise is to introduce weakness, to give in to fear.
Barter, exchange, share. Accept that fulfilling your highest values and future needs will often lead to denying your present wants, but never sell your True Self short.
Bend like a reed in the wind, but do not break.
The world will try to break you, but only your choices and your regrets have the power to do so.
Truth #14
The world will break you.
If it doesn’t, you aren’t living.
How you put the pieces back together is what shapes and defines you.
Truth #15
Violence is never the answer. Though it may at some time be your only option.
Never enter a fight you are not willing to win at all costs.
If a fight can be avoided, it should be. But if you’re life is threatened, or you are the only defense of the weak against the strong:
Fight mean. Fight like hell. Rules of engagement are a bully’s self-defense.
Truth #16
Dream. Dream big.
Never stop dreaming- asleep or awake.
The greater the hope, the greater the potential for disappointment. But hope lends us purpose, and failure is a far better teacher than success.
I love you more than life itself, and pray always that you are filled with the gift of Love, the spirit of Creation, and the serene state of mind that is Liberty.
Attention, girls! Here and Now.
Always and Forever.
Love,
Daddy
Dialectetus Spake: 